Marian Scadden, author
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I'm scared!

7/9/2013

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No, I'm not scared of mimes. I am a mime and that's my surprise/scared face.

I once mentioned in an earlier blog that I think some of my procrastination tendencies are because I'm afraid of mistakes, failure, rejection, and other tricks my mind plays.

At the end of last week, I made myself prepare my book (Short Scripts for 2-3 Kids) in Kindle format. Since I had already prepared it for being listed on Smashwords, most of the work was done. I timidly started out getting it ready for Kindle and suddenly it was done. I put off uploading it to Amazon until yesterday. It was hard! I read through all the terms and then I went step by step getting the information in the right slots. After all the fill-this-in boxes, it was time to upload the actual document. I hesitated for minutes clicking the button! Honestly, I had come that far; why on earth was I taking forever to click the dang button? It was FEAR. But I took a deep breath and clicked....and it didn't hurt! Yay, another fear hurdle overcome!

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Fear!

3/16/2012

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FDR said, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."

I've decided I'm a coward. I have a manuscript that needs a bit of editing. The critiqued manuscripts, returned from my writer group friends, sit in a notebook on the shelf. I did take out the notebook for 5 hours on Saturday and edited my work but those pages have been sitting there for quite some time. What is my problem?!
Is it time? That's an excuse for sure. I can always set the alarm earlier (yuck).
Is it because I'm busy? Yes, I am. My theater company is getting geared up for summer camps. So?
Or is it just plain old fear? I think so. Fear of rejection. Fear of working long and hard only to find that no one wants to spend .99 on my ebook. Fear that no one will notice it's there. Fear of the wide world of critics (but will anyone be harder on myself than me? doubtful). Fear of what others might say if I go the ebook route instead of getting a traditional publisher.

Fear doesn't go away because someone tells us not to be afraid. But I love what FDR said: "...nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror..." Often, I "make" my theatre students do something that makes them uncomfortable (such as getting on a stage) but I KNOW that if I can get them to get up there, they will break through their fear and discover they can do something difficult, even when they're scared. So, I'm telling myself, it's time to face those fears and break through.

I pledge to face my fear and finish editing my book, White Fire, by March 30th, then within a week, I'll get it uploaded as an ebook!
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    Marian, that's me!

    I love stories! I love to read fairy tales, fables, stories from around the world. I especially love scifi and fantasy. And I like to write. And watch movies. And play board games. And do theatre things.

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Marian Scadden, author of stage plays, fiction for young people, and other stuff