"Look" is quite the commanding verb. I use it on myself.

I'm not sure if I use it because of all the Encyclopedia Brown books I read when young, or the cozy mysteries I read now. In the books, observation is imperative. It's through keen awareness and then putting the noticed tidbits together that allow the detectives to discover the criminal.

"Look" is handy when driving. Have you ever heard a driver in an accident say, "I didn't see him coming"? I have. When I feel myself getting comfortable while driving, I tell myself a firm LOOK. So I look for the cars or the pedestrians or the stop signs, asking myself, "what are you really seeing?" That's compared to what I want to see which might be an empty highway for me to speed towards my destination, or a simple left turn where no other drivers are in my way. (Hm. "my" way. as if.)

It's also fun to think, "If I LOOK, what animals and vistas might I see?" Walking around the block I usually see chickens (yes, people have chickens in their backyard here), vultures, hawks, colorful yard decor, a new friend, and hummingbirds, which I am fascinated by. If I'm driving--besides being attentive to other cars, stop signs and traffic signals--I make myself look at street names since we're new here, landmarks (that's how I first learned there's a cinema in town), and views, especially when I'm driving somewhere...such as the Grand Canyon.

That's right! I finally got to go to the Grand Canyon. Grandma Phoebe told me I should go there one day, so hubby and I did when we moved a tad bit closer to it. That was so fun Looking and Looking and LOOKING!

I've also been looking at our new house. I tell myself to Look. At. It. That way I stop comparing it to where we moved from and trying to get all my stuff packed in the way "it used to be" and start realizing the possibilities and needs of the new home. It allows me to get creative. Chris and I built shelves in the small pantry the other day and it looks great organized the way we have it.

Looking has also allowed me to find new friends. Listening had to be a part of that process too. How wonderful all that looking does.

L O O K I N G...
What have you seen lately?

After 30 years of living in Oregon, we moved to be closer to family. OUCH! We're feeling: discombobulated, confused, disoriented, sad, out-of-our-element and...

EXCITED FOR NEW CHANGES AND EXPERIENCES!

I find that I have to focus on moving forward and not concentrate on what I left behind.* And not say things like, "well, when we were at home [meaning, in Oregon]..." Because I'm out of my element, it also means I'm out of my rut. I'm exploring new things: face-to-face activities with grandkids; new business opportunities; new places to "tour" (we like to play tourists when we move); meeting people.
I'm also starting to get back into a few routines including writing and small art. After putting it off for one or more months because of moving, I've started my next 100-Day Goal, and it happens to be about moving forward with art (including turning some e-books into physical books).
I will not lie--it's still hard! Exploring opportunities and possibilities keeps me steady on my feet and moving forward. Oh, and within the first week of arrival, we volunteered to do three things. Great way to meet people.

*Friends are the exception. I'm not going to stop thinking about them, and luckily I can converse with them via vid chat and email and messenger. I love meeting new people but I love my friends in Oregon. What's that girl scout song: "Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold." (Did you just hear the music in your head :) )

For this final installment, I leave you with some quotes that help me along. I actually do say these to myself.

The first time I saw the following quote was in the 11th grade. My math teacher had it posted. It works. I didn't even know who said it until in the recent past and I decided to find out how "real" the quote was. I'm so grateful for internet searching. 

This next quote is one from...me. I had to figure out something to say to myself one day, to get me moving forward.

This is from the movie "Cold Comfort Farm." (I've not read the book.) It's a funny way to remind me that I can't let something from the past absolutely ruin the other possibilities in my Present. (Watch the movie to catch the full meaning of the quote.)

If there's anyway to add a touch of humor, do it. That's Tool #10 Add Humor. 
​I do not want to laugh when I'm in my depressed, sad or overwhelmed state. But it's okay. I can still laugh just a smidgen, for that one moment in time, and then continue to be D, S, or O. Chris has a good sense of humor so sometimes he's helpful for a touch of humor. We're currently discussing pre-planning funeral arrangements but there are some things that we or our kids say that make us laugh about the whole thing; one feels they should create a murder mystery around the event--Chris and I perform murder mysteries so it would be apropos.
(NO DISRESPECT meant to anyone. I'm so sorry if there has been the trauma of death in your home!) 
There are some movie quotes that are so ingrained into us which fit certain situations or conversations that we just spout them out and it makes us laugh. We have cats. Cats are so weird. What's with the head-upside-down sleeping mode? What's with standing on the back of our chairs and licking our hair? What's with the races through the house? So we smile or laugh at their antics. I often use YouTube to help me teach or to help me learn but I also love the comedy stuff. I watch some of those vids and I laugh out loud. If you can find a book, movie, comedy sketch, or funny joke, use it. Learn more of them. Have them handy. Hm. I just realized I have a "Too Funny or Too True" board on Pinterest. I should add more to it, visit it a little more often.
TOOL #10: ADD HUMOR.

Tool #9 is Simon Says or Take a Bribe. A rather long time ago, I read an article by a woman whose mother was elderly. The author said she was so grateful for the game Simon Says because her mother got herself up by saying to herself, "Simon says 'get up.'" The mother would use the same technique for getting other tasks completed. I put that tool in my toolbox when I first read the article. And I've modified the tool to suit my needs.
There are many days that I'm overwhelmed before I even get up and I want to stay in bed. But some years back, I ordered a non-Barbie doll--Lammily dolls--because she was the Adventurer (she was actually called the Traveler but to me she is an adventurer) and she had average body proportions. I bought her for me. I put her on my bedside table to remind me to go ahead and get up and have an adventure for the day. It helps to think of the adventures possible in my day rather than "I HAVE to get up and MUST do my work." The thought is a little more positive. She is to me like Simon Says was to the elderly mother in the article.
And sometimes the problem is not the beginning of the day. There are days I feel like I'm spinning my wheels, not really functioning well. That's when the bribe comes in. "Fine," I say to myself. "Get three things done and you can call it a day." Or if my day is being super difficult, I might say, "You know those cashews sitting on the shelf? You can have a handful or two if you concentrate for one hour." And there's that tool. Like most of the tools mentioned, it doesn't always work but it works often enough for me to keep it in my toolbox.
TOOL #9 SIMON SAYS OR TAKE A BRIBE.

Tool #8 = Have a GOOD CRY Then Move On. 
Did you know there are different tears for different emotions? "There are three different types of tears: basal (lubricating), reflex (responding to stimuli) and psychic (triggered by emotion). Each type of tear contains different organic substances, and the molecular makeup depends on the causative agent. For instance, emotional tears contain the neurotransmitter leucine enkephalin, a natural painkiller that the body releases to mitigate stress." If you click here, you can read the article and see tears photographed under a microscope. You can also read about Tears on Wikipedia. 
The science of it is all well and good except when I'm right in the middle of a breakdown.
I am not generally one who cries. I don't like to cry in public; heck, I don't like to cry when I'm by myself. But sometimes there's nothing for it. I can't stop the tears. What I have found is that after the release of crying (and maybe with a nap afterwards), my emotions are better. I honestly feel a bit better. At that point, I remind myself it's okay to cry. I don't always remember this tool (or I hide it), but if I'm to the point of needing a good cry, I should just do it, even if I think I'll never feel happy again. But it's kind of like when I'm sick but I don't want to throw up. Once I finally get rid of what's on the inside, I don't feel as horrible. I may not be totally well, but I do feel better. So, I have to remind myself, "Cry, cry, cry!" It's like throwing out the sickness on the inside. I'll probably need to have a good cry again another day but that's okay.
There's something else I say to myself on a cry day. It probably isn't the nicest thing to say to oneself but here goes. Mostly, crying does not come at a convenient time. I've got something that must be done at home. (If it's in public, I won't cry until I'm home.) And so I say to myself, "Cry all you want but keep moving." So I've cried while working on some task that had to be done. At least I gave myself permission to cry, knowing that a good cry can be helpful.
Tool #6 HAVE A GOOD CRY AND THEN MOVE ON.

With yesterday's post, I rolled my eyes at self. Today, I'm shaking my head. Some tools are hard to use but most tools are helpful, even when it's difficult to learn how to use them. 
Tool #7: FIND JOY. 
I'm sad, depressed, overwhelmed, worried, and I'm supposed to find JOY???? As for me, I have to use baby steps to accomplish anything. Ya know how I learned to make a spreadsheet? By using a kids program! After that I was able to catch the concept and translate it to being able to use Excel. Baby steps is how I learn to find joy when I'm on the down side of life. I have a bullet journal and in that bullet journal are gratitude pages. Everyday--every flippin' evening--I make myself write three things I'm thankful for. And I'm not allowed to repeat. Here are three things I wrote in Feb: Puzzle (I completed it); chopping wood (I like working with my chainsaw); 5 min tasks. Yup. That was my big day. The next day was just as exciting: Only three days of no electricity; painted a mushroom; string cheese. There it is. That's it. "It's the simple things in life you treasure." (I thought I was going to skip a movie quote. Guess not. That one is from Galaxy Quest.)
A rather long time ago, I was worried about some youth I was working with, and I felt like it was all my fault. (As I mentioned in post 1 of this series "Wednesday's child is full of woe.") But Chris told me, "If you're going to take responsibility for their problems then you also have to take credit for the good things they do." Well, that put it into perspective. Along similar lines, if I let me brain go towards all that has been wrong, is wrong, will be wrong in my life then can't I also nudge my brain towards the joy in my past, present and future as well? Especially the present. I admit it's not always easy, but I can manage if I just find One. Simple. Thing. to be joyful for. Even if it's stupid movie quotes. "Never give up. Never surrender." (That's also Galaxy Quest; but we tend to use this one more: By Grabthar's hammer, what a savings.)
Recently, I was feeling very down. I pretty much figured that I have blown everything that's honestly important to me (and I am absolutely not going to confess right here what all that is). Writing these posts, and this one in particular, has helped me recall the good stuff that I have done and am trying to do; the good stuff that has been in my life and has come into my life. Sometimes I just have to re-learn how to use the tools and get used to them again. I hope you find this tool helpful:
Tool #7 FIND JOY
​
Here's an opportunity to practice. Write 1-3 things in the comments that you're grateful for or something that brings you joy.

I know this is a really weird tool, right? I'll explain.
Tool #6: LAUGH. I'm rolling my eyes at myself even as I type this. But it really is in my toolbox. Long ago...(that is hard to write without thinking, "...in a galaxy far, far away.") Anyway, quite some time ago, I read an article about laughing or comedy or something like that and the author stated that the body does not know the difference between real and imaginary laughter. The author gave the example of movies. We know they are fiction but don't we still jump at the scary part, don't we cry at the sad part? The same thing goes for laughter. The body still responds well whether you fake a laugh or mean it. When I glance over at the wall where the picture of my "tools" is hanging, and I see "Laugh", I pretty much always think, "yeah, right," and roll my eyes. Then just to bug myself and give my body a boost, I give a stupid, pathetic laugh. Which makes me kind of smile. That's why this is in my toolbox and, yes, I choke out a laugh in the middle of my sad moment. It doesn't hurt anything. And maybe my moment goes from depressingly sad to a tiny bit not sad. Embarrassingly, we have a laughing stuffie in our house. I sometimes press the button on its tummy and it starts laughing and laughing. It's hard not to laugh. Ya know all those movies I like to quote? Well, quotes can be helpful. A couple of them we like to use: (I'm sorry if I get these a bit wrong)
~"Hey, Mr. Grumpy Gills... do you know what you have to do? You have to (singing) Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming swimming swimming. What do we do?..."
~(angry) I could have been at a barbeque! (calmly) But it's okay. It's okay.
So, there it is....Tool #6: LAUGH

Movie quotes from this post:
Star Wars, the original
Finding Nemo
Independence Day

​And here's a link to an article about laughing. It's not the same one I remember reading but it's similar.

The two previous posts were about the spiritual side of things. This one is too. Again, see how you can apply it to you.
Tool #5: Listen to HYMNS (or other sacred music). I know the sketch also mentions children's songs. I'm talking about sacred children's music. There was an event in my life that was horribly distressing. It was HARD. I can't say that strongly enough. "Hard" doesn't describe the season well enough. A friend who knew what I was going through called me up suddenly and said, "Listen to hymns. There have been times that I've had them playing all night, too." I tell you what, when I'm miserable, I'm willing to try anything (if it's legal and won't harm my body and mind). I tried it. It didn't "cure" anything but it helped me through that particular time. Chris (dh) told me one day that he listens to hymn CDs in the car sometimes just to keep things calm. Now I'll do it too. There are days that we both need sacred music playing and we'll have it playing quietly in the background through the day. Sometimes someone--friend, family or stranger--says something that is just so easy and so helpful. You never know when these tidbits will come along, and maybe tomorrow it won't help, but I appreciate the little things. I like having a variety of tools in my toolbox.
Tool #5 Listen to HYMNS (or other sacred, uplifting music).
If you know music, a musician, or musical group that helps you, please share.

Side note: With all that being said, I also get by on uplifting music as well. There are musicals that I love to watch and/or listen to their soundtracks to help me find joy and hope in the day. There are singers as well that help to uplift my spirits when I'm down.

Like yesterday's post, don't be scared by the sketch. I hope that you can "translate it" for your situation.
This next tool--SUBMERGE INTO THE SPIRITUAL--is a tool that paradoxically keeps me afloat.

There have been, and are, many times that my unhappy emotions have come from turmoil around me. If I don't seem to be coming out of the negative emotions, I have to steady myself again on a firm foundation and look at the bigger picture, the eternal view. In the previous post, the tool was finding a sacred place. This tool helps me to find the sacred inside myself. But it doesn't come just by snapping my fingers or saying, "Oh, I want to be more spiritual." Just like any true learning, it takes work. When I'm depressed, I have to put in more effort and be more consistent with that effort. I have to go deeper.
If the things mentioned in the sketch are not something you do, I hope that you can find your type of spiritual and connection, and that you find the sacred in you.
Tool #4: SUBMERGE INTO THE SPIRITUAL.